Monday, May 09, 2005
Christ is risen! Indeed, He is risen!
All things are made new! Transformed.
Although I was not able to participate physically that much this Lent, I tried to spiritually. Even though my efforts were pretty puney, I felt much at Pascha. What a glorious time with my Spiritual family! Not only spiritually, but physically as well. Our Church family took care of me and my family. With our new and blessed arrival of Hazel Anna, they took very good care of us! They provided many wonderful meals and conversation. They really shown the Light of Christ!
I am so thankful to God for the many things that He has done for us! And just as I was reading the other day in the Prologue, thankfullness to God and the fear of God really do plant the seed of love. And just as Bishop Joseph said during His homily on Pascha, it needs to be guarded through many Spiritual efforts. Faith and works; you can't have one without the other. If just Faith, then spiritual gnosticsm. Just works, then egoism. Only through the connection to the Church can these trully be practiced in harmony by the grace of God. Anyway, I am full of Joy!
11:14 AM
Thursday, December 30, 2004
"Why did God do this to me?!" or "Why does suffering occur when there is a benevolent God?!"
This was a question asked in a recent article about the death and destruction caused by the Indonesian tsunami:
This is what I have been asked and NPR has been addressing all week. I have been thinking of how to answer this, and have finally formulated my answer.
It is troubling to me that when something horrible like the Indonesian catastrophe happens that non-Christians use this as proof to say that there is no God, or that He is not benevolent and there will be no allegiance given to Him because of the suffering "He caused". I, however, see it much differently.
First, the real question should be, "why is there death"? Orthodox theologians much more prayerful than me have addressed this issue many times, not to mention the scriptures. In my simple way of putting it, sin is to blame for death. When sin entered the world, death followed right on its heels. We are all sick with sin and have become susceptible to things that can kill us, such as tsunamis. None of us can escape it. Whether it be a tsunami, cancer, a run-away garbage truck or murder, we will all die. Now, is that God's fault, or man's? This brings me to my next point.
Why did God give us the choice to sin or not to sin i.e. why did God allow Adam and Eve to choose? Because He wanted them to have a free will. They could choose Him or reject Him. Since they, and we, are made in the image of God, we need God to survive. But instead of creating Adam and Eve without a will, He gave them a will. They could choose to live "on" God, or find their own way. They sinned, choosing death. As a result, our bodies have become mortal, to eventually return to the dust they were formed from. But even though we live under the curse of death, our souls can be forever preserved, in the presence of God and His love through His cross, and ultimately, His resurection.
What does this have to do with suffering? WE chose suffering for ourselves; not God. Does that mean that God doesn't care about the suffering we will go through? No, of course not! He does divinely help us to endure our suffering. There are countless accounts of this in the Orthodox tradition and scriptures. Not only does God care, He came as a man to this earth to experience everything that we suffer, ultimately crucifixion. But was death the end for Him? No! He rose from the dead, conquering death and enabling us to do the same. So even if we are killed in a tsunami, we will be raised up to be with Him!
But to those of us that remain, we can comfort those that suffer, just as Christ has commanded. We can, God willing, help shoulder the burdens of other's suffering. For those unfortunate to have died and their families, we can pray for them or send money to help with the disaster relief. We can also share the Good News that God has commanded us to share, not merely through words, but in action and in Faith.
Monday, December 27, 2004
Advent: Trully a time of preparation.
We have experienced pretty much all life has to offer this Advent season: new life, death, joy, sorrow, the narrow vs the wide way to God...I'm sure I am leaving a few things out.
First, new life. Our soon to be, precious daughter! My heart is full of many things when I think about her. Expectation, love, joy, excitement, fear. Just to name a few. Every day is a new experience with parenthood. Even though she isn't born yet. Right now, my wife; as mother. Oh, what strange wonder. Her belly is getting soooo big. And to think that our daughter is just a few inches from me when I touch her stomach and stranger still when I feel her. She is indeed a great gift!
Death. My friend and co-worker and his wife lose their baby. She was only six weeks along. I feel such loss for them. They had been trying longer than we had.
Joy. The anticipation of Christ's Nativity! God the Creator, becomes the Created! Wait, my words can't explain the joy I feel. But this does:
Come, let us rejoice in the Lord, proclaiming the present mystery; for he hath broken the middle wall of partition, and the flaming spear shall turn about, and the cherubim shall admit all to the tree of life. As for me, I shall return to enjoy the bliss of paradise from which I was driven away before, by reason of iniquity; for the likeness of the Father, and the Person of his eternity, which it is impossible to change hath taken the likeness of a servant, coming from a Mother who has not known wedlock; free from transubstantiation, since he remained as he was, true God, and took what had not been, having become Man for his love of mankind. Wherefore, let us lift our voices unto him crying, O thou who wast born of the Virgin, O God, have mercy upon us.
Yep, that sums it up just fine! We are free to return to the Garden!
The narrow vs the wide way. I was on that narrow path, albeit, mostly by hanging on the edge with bloody hands. I fell many times. But you know, God's grace abounded all the more. My spiritual eyes were opened. Mostly to my unworthiness before God. But, the promise, "a broken and contrite heart, oh God, these you will not despise." Now the challenge remains, to continue on that narrow path. The path that leads to Lent.
I have been thinking of the uncreated light of God recently. Not so much theologically, but ontologically. I used to believe that my relationship with God would be completely fulfilled in Heaven where I would know God completely. Now I believe that I am trully in relationship with Him when(of course, what presupposes is that I follow His commandments) I begin to realize that knowing God is a "mystical" experience. He is shrouded in mystery. I can only begin to know God through His Son, Jesus Christ. The "human" side of God allows for some tangible experience of Him, but certainly not complete.
This "mystery" of God is symbolized in the uncreated light of God. It is unknowable, but rather than dismiss it out of hand, I acknowledge it. That is as far as I take it. Looking at Icons of Christ, this uncreated light is usually depicted around Christ as a darkish grey or blue color. I am reminded of this mystery every time I look at these.
What is even more incredible is that, being created in the image of God, I too can "possess" this uncreated light in the inner man; as God chooses to dwell in me.
Friday, September 17, 2004
Wow! It's been awhile since I have posted here. I am not very good at being faithful with these sorts of things. Anyway...
Random thoughts:
As I approach fatherhood, I am becoming more and more excited! This "person" will be brought into this world, by the breath and grace of God, with flesh from both of us. Somehow, he/she will embody us: our love, our Faith, the strength of our marriage, our need for God and His Holy Eucharist. What a fearful and wonderful thing. I am constantly amazed at the peace and exicitement I am feeling. A couple of years ago, I would have been a frightened basket case.
I miss my brother. I am constantly thinking of him in Iraq. I barely get to talk to him. A few weeks ago, he sounded depressed and very cynical. This is not Joel. The light hearted humor was gone. That was the first time that I had talked to him where the humor was noticeably absent. That was a red flag for me. He feels he is all alone. He seems very paranoid. He isn't sleeping. PTSD? I don't know. God, have mercy on Joel.
My Mom. Still the same. She is going, going, going...she is reaching for the stars. Very confusing for me; I am proud of her but can't help but feel impending dread. When will she bottom out? Will she ever? I think so. The only thing that seemed to help her was a quick fix. Of course I can't talk about my concerns with her. She just wouldn't understand. I pray for her, but that is all I can do right now. The few times I have talked to her about how I feel have seemed that she was hanging on every word. That is definitely a warning sign for me. Boundaries!
My wife. I love her. Sometimes, when I look at her, I see a person I haven't even begun to know. I am beginning to understand what it really means to love her. Not anything to do with me, but giving myself up for her. True what Christ says, "whoever finds his life will lose it. And whoever loses his life will find it". So true.
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Just some random thoughts...
Excited about leaving for San Francisco. We will be gone for four days. Camping, seafood and Sangrea, what more could I want?
The Jesus Prayer...
When my mind is in overdrive, not sure what God's will may be for a given situation, I try to focus on the Jesus Prayer. This really helps.
I love my wife! She is an incredible woman. It is weird to think, or should I say "mysticaly mysterious" that my salvation has a lot to do with my wife and vice versa. Celebrating the Trinity in our marriage. I want us to be that "ideal" family that brings joy and God's loving kindness to others and glorifies God for all to see. Just as sin and evil in a marriage can spread darkness, so can righteousness and goodness spread light. Dare I say uncreated light?
Boundaries...such a trite word; but, oh, so important. Carrying my own burden, being responsible for it, and helping others to be responsible for theirs...freedom.
"Oh Heavenly King, the Comforter, the Spirit of Truth. Who art everywhere and fillest all things. The treasury of blessings and giver of life, come and abide in us, and cleanse us from every stain, and save our souls, oh good One."
1:52 PM
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
"Two Natures"
The more I begin to look inward, I realize that two natures operate within me: my soul and my flesh. I relate to the Apostle Paul when he says he "does what he does not want to do". Most of the time, this is the case for me.
Take fasting for instance. I want to fast. I have experienced many good benefits from it. However, the fire I must go through to obtain the good gifts is very painful. This is what stops me; suffering. My flesh doesn't want to suffer! But my soul desires the blessings of fasting. Sometimes I wonder what my soul and body would look like if I could actually "see" them as God does. I imagine that my soul is this withered, weak and malnourished dwarf. My flesh would be this fat, greasy, whining dough boy. Poke it, and it would scream in agony.
It really isn't funny, though. Very few times do I actually experience joy. Most of the time I feel, spiritually, like I do when I have a very hight fat meal: bloated, tired and weak.
The Church, and all that it encompasses, will save me. I believe it will tip the scales. I pray God will have mercy on my soul.
1:54 PM
